Fathers and Daughters

Delaney and me on the carousel at Jantzen Beach



Volumes of research on daughters and sons consistently reveal that divorce hurts kids. That’s just the way it is. Daughters often feel abandoned, guilty, sad, and angry. They often become depressed. No matter how much a father tries to convince a daughter that it wasn’t her fault, it doesn’t matter. Up through adolescence, young people usually see themselves at the center of their family and friends, and they feel, whatever happens, happens in large part because of them…

But your daughter will also feel abandoned. She’ll ask “What was wrong with me? Wasn’t I worth sticking around for?” This is where you must begin to help her.

Your daughter expects parents to stay married. If she sees you or her mother renege on that commitment, she becomes confused. Heroes, in her mind, keep fighting. In reality, though, sometimes you can’t. If Mom leaves…your fight is limited.

But whenever, for your daughter’s sake, you can fight, you must. How you fight, how you persevere, how you manifest your courage will always influence your daughter…This is what heroes do. It is what your daughter expects. Making the heroic choice at work, in marriage, and throughout your life will shape your daughter, who she is and what she becomes. You need to lead her wisely, consistently, and heroically.


--From Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know, by Meg Meeker, M.D.

I was already aware of the importance of a father in a young girl's life, but I was particularly impressed by the strength of the argument above. I will always advocate for Delaney.